The LORD God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

With this simple little phrase from the first pages of the Book of Genesis, God reveals for us something absolutely fundamental about the human person — about who we are and what we were made for:

We are made for love.

Another way to put this would be: 

Each of us is made for communion. 

Made to be in relationship with Another.

We’re not meant to be isolated, autonomous individuals…

No… we’re made for love.

It is not good for us to be alone.

Even priests, who are called to celibacy — who have freely given up having a wife and kids — it’s not good for us to be alone either! We need friends. We need to be invited into the lives of our parishioners! Next week all the priests of the Diocese of Richmond will be together as brothers for the annual priest convocation… Thank the Lord!

…It’s not good for any of us to be alone!!!

But let’s back up for just a second — How exactly did Adam even know that he was alone? 

Think about it — for all Adam knows, he’s the only human being that has ever or will ever exist. There’s no reason for him to look around and expect there to be more people just like him…

So how does Adam know that he’s alone?

Fr Mike Schmitz, in a talk on JPII’s Theology of the Body answers the question this way — and this is profound… it’s SO important if we’re gonna properly understand Christian anthropology and if we’re gonna understand what it means when we say “We’re made for love.” 

Fr Mike says this: Adam knows that he is alone… not just because he looks around and doesn’t see anybody else there… but because he looks at himself and realizes that the male body does not make sense on its own. It’s been written into his own body — that he is actually made for another… that he’s supposed to be a “gift” for another person.

…But that “other” person isn’t there.

He’s alone.

And it is not good for the man to be alone.

So the Lord says: “I will make a suitable partner for him.”

And then God makes all the animals, right?

And Adam starts naming the animals!

But none of the animals are a suitable partner for him…

Why?

Because Adam doesn’t need someTHING… he needs someONE. And when Adam sees the animals, he can tell, just from their bodies… that they are not someone like him.

Pope St. John Paul II would put it this way:

“The human body reveals the person.”

The human body — our flesh and bone biology — expresses our immortal souls, our identity… our unique personhood… which has been made in the image and likeness of God.

That happens… that is communicated… through our bodies!

When you see a person you know… you see their body and therefore see THEM. The body reveals the person!

As much as we might love animals… as much as we love our pets… they are not persons. They are not people. They are beloved creatures of God, yes…But strictly speaking — animals are someTHING not someONE…

So what does God do?

We read that He casts a “deep sleep” on the man. 

In Hebrew, the word used here is “tardēmah” which is used elsewhere in the Old Testament for the creation of a covenant, of a brand new kind of permanent relationship, an exchange of persons.

The Lord then takes the rib from Adam’s side. And we hear that God “built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man.” 

One commentator points out that the fact that God “builds” the woman, and doesn’t just “shape” or “create” her is significant. The woman is BUILT… because she is a a sacred temple…Her body is a temple!

The early Church fathers were also quick to connect this symbolic imagery of Adam asleep in the Garden to Jesus… the New Adam… asleep on the Cross. Adam’s side is “wounded,” and his bride, Eve is pulled from his side. Jesus’ side is wounded — pierced with a spear — and his Bride the Church pours out… Blood and Water…Eucharist and Baptism.

The Blood of the New and Eternal Covenant… 

God is crafting… creating a covenant, a brand new kind of relationship.

“It is not good for man to be alone.”

Then comes the encounter:

Adam finally sees his bride for the very first time and cries out: “This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!”

He’s in love! Here at last was a real flesh and blood PERSON… Unlike the animals, he could actually know and love her, and she could actually know and love him back.

What’s more, her body completed Adam’s body. Her biology is what makes sense of Adam’s biology. She was like the man… and yet she was also unlike him in all the ways that mattered.

We call this “complementarity” — Man and woman compliment one another. They complete one another. They are different in such a way that they can fit together… can be in communion, both body and soul, with one another. They can, as the Scriptures say — really truly become “one flesh.”

We’re standing on very sacred ground here. Very beautiful ground. This is the foundation — the heart — of everything we profess and believe about the sacrament of Marriage and about the human family.

Pope Francis once said: “Marriage is the most beautiful thing that God has created.”

Amen!

It’s not good for us to be alone!

We are made for love!

We are made for communion!

Not all of us are called specifically to the sacrament of matrimony, but those who are reveal for the rest of us the beauty of God’s unconditional, faithful love!

For a man and a woman to commit to a life-long, indissoluble… till death do us part…faithful relationship of love… a relationship that is open to brand new human beings — new children coming into existence! — And for that relationship to be all about getting your spouse and your kids to heaven — becoming the domestic church… living out and striving for holiness together as a family — That is beautiful.

Marriage is so amazing!

But unfortunately, the world doesn’t always see it that way.

Recently, a friend of mine who is a student over at Virginia Tech shared with me the title of a reading assignment he was given for his graduate level social psychology class:

The title of the article literally starts off with: “The Shackles of Marriage” 

This is how the world sees marriage! — As shackles! As slavery!!!! 

…As an imposition on our personal, autonomous individual freedom.

How sad is that?

How different that is from the plan God that originally had!

But it does raise an important question, doesn’t it?

What happens when marriage doesn’t seem very beautiful to us anymore? 

What do we do when marriage starts to feel more like shackles than a gift?

Because I think sometimes people can hear all the beautiful language — all the lofty and TRUE Catholic theology of marriage —  but then they look at their ordinary, everyday life… and they might feel sorta… let down. Sorta disappointed and disillusioned.

The dishes and laundry are piling up.

The bills are getting more and more expensive.

The kids are screaming… refusing to eat, refusing to sleep…

Balancing work, life, family, school and everything else…is taking its toll…

Energy and motivation is at an all time low.

Perhaps bitterness, resentment, distrust has crept into your marriage.

Maybe some kind of betrayal took place.

Turns out.. you married a sinner. An imperfect person.

And you ask: What gives? Is this what God had in mind when He said: “It is not good for man to be alone? I will make a suitable partner for him.”

And part of the answer is: Yes! Absolutely! It’s PRECISELY through all that ordinary mundane stuff that marriage reveals its true greatness. It’s the boring, everyday slog where love becomes most real. Where Jesus meets us and helps us to live out our promises.

But at the same time — it’s also important for us to acknowledge that something has gone wrong. 

That sin has warped the relationship between men and women. As beautiful as marriage is — many of the effects of Original Sin remain, and we have to wrestle with that.

When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit… their relationship with both God and each other suffered greatly.

Again, John Paul II’s Theology of the Body helps us to understand this really well. He says that after the Fall — something destructive was introduced into their relationship:

The experience of shame.

Before sinning, we hear they were naked without shame. 

But afterward, they try to cover themselves with fig leaves.

Why?

Because now, they needed to protect themselves from each other. Now they REALIZED…they were vulnerable precisely in those places where men and women are different.

Fr Mike Schmitz says that Eve… in that moment right after they sinned… saw something in Adam’s eyes that she had never seen before. Up to this moment, all Eve saw in Adam’s eyes was love, protection, and safety. But now… she saw something different… something dangerous.

Assessment. Objectification. Lust.

Love says: “This is my body, given up FOR you.”  

Lust says… “This is your body, taken by me.”

Lust turns someONE who deserves to be loved… into someTHING to be used…

And so Eve covers herself.

Fr Mike then went on to say that Adam… in that same moment… also saw something new in his wife’s eyes — something that wasn’t there before — He felt exposed…blamed! He felt like a fraud. Like he wasn’t really a man at all. Like he could never measure up… Never be good enough. Eve was now in competition with him.

And so the long sad story of human brokenness… of our hardness of heart…betrayal, adultery, violence, abuse, divorce…in a word, ALL the sin… that has ever been committed between men and women… flowed from this breakdown — all because Adam and Eve disobeyed God and “allowed trust in their Creator to die in their hearts.”

So yea, the effects of the Fall are still very real for those living out the married vocation. And these effects can lead to all sorts of unhealthy comparisons…

Oh that couple’s finances are so much more stable than ours…

Their kids are so much more well behaved than ours…

They have less kids than us… the perfect number…. they’re so lucky…

Her husband communicates so much better mine does…

His wife shows so much more affection to him than mine does…

They seem so much happier…

Everybody else’s marriage seems perfect — And ours… well… it’s not.

When that happens — and notice how I said “when” not “if” — When that sort of thought occurs, remember Jesus’ words from our gospel this weekend:

“What God has joined together, no human being must separate.”

Your marriage is worth fighting for.

Your promises of permanence, fidelity, and openness to life are worth struggling for.

And so I wanna encourage you guys………. There is so much beauty in your imperfect marriage.

The sacrament — that covenantal, unbreakable, one-flesh union that you have formed in the Church with each other — that’s holy! …that is sacred! … even when things get really really hard.

Remember: 

You were made for love. …And love, we know… is not a feeling.

Love is an act of the will.

It’s always a choice.

And so no matter what is going on in your marriage, in your household, in your family…regardless of what the world might say… love is always possible… in good times and in bad. In sickness and in health.

That’s why Jesus sticks up for and defends the indissolubility of marriage in the gospel we heard today. It is a VERY challenging teaching — easily one of the hardest Jesus ever gave! But our Lord knows full well that this is very very sacred ground — He knows that God created them male and female for a particular, beautiful purpose!

…To reveal God’s love in this world. To prove that we really are made to love and be loved.

Pope St John Paul II once famous said: “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live.”

Human frailty is real, yes…. Sin happens. Things fall apart sometimes, and that’s always a tragedy. But you were made for love.

And the God who is Love is right there encouraging you, building you up, giving you grace to keep going. And He is inviting you to greater sacrificial love for one another. 

That’s the witness that we all need right now. We need holy, faithful marriages… Not perfect ones. We need holy families… not perfect ones.

You are not alone. Jesus is with you. He knows better than anybody else: “It is not good for us to be alone.”