The one and only fist fight I ever got in was actually pretty epic.

Like most middle school throw downs, it was altogether unclear why we got into a fight at all. Probably some irrational scuffle over Pokémon card collections or something equally as silly — but at any rate, it all went down one day right in my front yard.

The kid came barreling toward me — and without warning, proceeded to remove his shoe and chuck it with all his might right at me… Luckily I dodged the airborne shoe, and then proceeded to promptly tackle my foe, easily pinning him down to the ground, and then I held him there as he struggled helplessly.

I had absolutely no idea what to do next. I’d never been in a fight before. And really, I didn’t want to be. I certainly didn’t want to hurt this kid — after all, I thought he was my friend. He was my next door neighbor. I mean, we played MARIOKART together… how much deeper could you hope for in a friendship?

But… thankfully…. God gave me a lot of grace in that moment. And I found myself leaning down and saying to him very calmly, but very firmly: 

“I will let you back up, if you stop fighting me.”

And to his credit, that’s just what he did. And the fight ended almost before it even began.

I was reminded of this episode in my life when I read today’s first reading from the First Book of Samuel.

David was on the run from King Saul, who wanted to kill him for some reason. And David didn’t quite understand why. David, for his part, had nothing but allegiance, love, and respect for the King — for the Lord’s Anointed! And yet Saul — out of envy and pride — desired nothing more than to destroy David… “Saul has slain his thousands… but David his tens of thousands.” This refrain haunted Saul, and filled him with rage! It made him want to throw his shoe at poor David!

And yet, in today’s reading, we get a fascinating and powerful snapshot of how David chose to respond to this violence.

We pick up the story when David has a chance to put Saul out of his misery! He has him pinned down, tackled, and totally helpless… He and his soldiers had stolen silently into Saul’s camp by night, and now they were literally standing right over top of the peacefully slumbering Saul!

And Abishai, David’s nephew and one of his greatest warriors, whispered to David: “God has delivered your enemy into your grasp this day. Let me nail him to the ground with one thrust of the spear; I will not need a second thrust!”

That’s always the temptation, isn’t it? When we have our enemy thoroughly beat… when we have them cornered and helpless… to just nail them… let ‘em have it. Pummel them into submission! Sort of like what the Eagles did to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl…

But that’s NOT what David did.

David said to Abishai, “Do not harm him, for who can lay hands on the LORD’s anointed and remain unpunished?”

David understood and believed that even though Saul was trying to kill him — he was still the king. And therefore, he deserved respect and reverence. David understood that he had no right whatsoever to destroy this man, even though he was trying to destroy him.

So David does something really clever. He takes Saul’s spear and water jug, and they leave the camp undetected. In the morning, David shouts over to Saul from a safe distance, showing him the missing spear and water jug as proof that he had spared Saul’s life.

“Today, though the LORD delivered you into my grasp, I would not harm the LORD’s anointed.”

He was basically saying what I somehow had the grace to say to that kid who threw his shoe at me: “I’ll let you back up —  if you stop fighting me.”

David is displaying true strength — real restraint. He refuses to fight fire with fire — to snuff out his enemy when he has the chance…

No… he chooses to spare his enemy’s life in an attempt to change his enemy’s mind and put an end to the cycle of violence. To transform all of that violence into healing.

And guys — THIS is actually the best way to destroy our enemies.

Not by killing them — but by converting them!

That’s what Jesus is teaching us in our gospel today: “To the person who strikes you on one cheek, offer the other one as well.” 

Is Jesus against self-defense? Is he saying that we should just roll over and continue to allow people to hurt us? Absolutely not! 

He’s actually showing us the most convincing way to prove to the person insulting us that we are stronger, more loving, and totally unafraid of them…that we don’t want to fight them back! To turn the other cheek is an incredibly impressive act of holy defiance and restraint. It’s that same “I’ll let you back up if you stop fighting me.”

Now they might not stop fighting you… You can’t always control that. But you can give them that opportunity to change. And that’s only possible if you refuse to stoop to their level…

If you just throw your shoe right back at your enemy — if you look for an opportunity to nail them down to the ground — then you’re no better than they are!

Why not spare the life of your enemy… and win them back over instead?

“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you!”

WOW… that is really hard.

But how different this world would be if we actually lived that?

One of the greatest scenes in the Lord of the Rings trilogy is when Frodo says it was a pity Bilbo didn’t just kill Gollum (that horrible creature who is so addicted to the Ring) when he had the chance to kill him…

And Gandalf the Wizard replies very wisely: “Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death… and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment… even the very wise cannot see all ends.”

In other words: Don’t be so eager to snuff Gollum out! We all have Gollums in our lives, don’t we? Don’t be so eager to destroy them! Judge them! Condemn them! You don’t know the end of the story yet! You don’t know what part they might play in the future! It’s NOT your place to condemn and destroy! — Pity may very well save the world in the end!

That’s the lesson Jesus is teaching us, isn’t it?!? — “Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

Jesus is not saying that we can’t stand up for what is right. He’s not saying we can’t protect ourselves from dangerous situations we ought to remove ourselves from. And he’s certainly not saying that we can’t judge truth from falsehood. But he is holding us — holding ALL Christians — to a much higher standard. 

The world resorts so quickly to outrage, cancellation, hatred, and total annihilation of anyone who dares to disagree with or contradict any of its values…

But that’s not what we do. 

We choose to have pity… true pity that can convert …That humbly admits that we are not the ones who deal out death and judgment:

That is for God alone to do.

And in the meantime, we do our absolute best to offer our enemies a chance to become our friends. We spare our enemies’ lives, rather than nail them down to the ground!

And isn’t that what the Lord did for us?

God sent His Son — not to nail US down… but to allow Himself to be nailed down to the Cross! 

We had made ourselves into His enemies through our sin! We took the first shot at God! …We threw our shoe at Him! 

…But God turned the other cheek. 

He does NOT want to fight us. He is altogether ON OUR SIDE… He chooses to spare our lives, ETERNALLY… and by doing so, He converts us. He softens our hearts… He destroys His enemies by loving them… by making them into His best friends!

Our Psalm today said: “He redeems your life from destruction, crowns you with kindness and compassion.”

God doesn’t want to destroy you.

He wants to heal you.

Thank God we have a God like THAT…