Jesus promises us peace.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.”

And yet, when we actually look around…there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of peace out there, huh? 

Nations are still fighting. Bombs are still going off. Lives are being destroyed. Families are still torn apart. People are still at each others throats in person and online. The Church is still divided…

So where is this “peace” that Jesus promised us?

Then we come to our first reading this weekend — And we see lack of peace even THERE…even in these earliest moments of the newborn Church! We read that there were some Christians who had apparently “upset [the Church] with their teachings” and had “disturbed the peace of mind” of the faithful.

So right here at the beginning of the Church in the Acts of the Apostles! — there is conflict and disagreement!

…Are new Christian converts required to follow the Mosaic law or not? 

Some said yes… others said no!

And as we heard in the reading — “There arose no little dissension and debate.”

There was “lack of peace”…

So we might ask again: Where is that peace Jesus promised us?

But let’s not stop there!

If you look at the whole of Church history, you’ll find that there have been countless moments just like this, pretty much every step of the way!

There’s been no little dissension! No little debate over crucial questions of theology!

One of the BIGGEST debates was over the question of “Arianism.” 

There was this guy named Arius who said that Jesus, the Son of God… was not truly God, but only a really really special type of creature made by God. And believe it or not, at one point, most of the Catholic bishops in the world believed this! They were almost ALL Arian heretics…!

But, with the help of a few courageous saints like St Athanasius, the Church finally said: Hey wait! We need to have a debate about this! We need to have a little CONFLICT over this! We need to hash this out, ask the Holy Spirit’s guidance, and come into agreement with the Truth. 

And that Truth, as the Council of Nicaea taught, is that Jesus is true God, and true man — consubstantial with the Father.

But that was a BIG fight we needed to have as a Church.

Another big conflict was over Pelagianism.

Pelagius said “We can be holy on our own strength. We just have to TRY HARDER.”

But the Church — especially through St. Augustine — responded saying: “Wait a second….NO… We need to have some debate on this question. We need to hash this out, and get to the bottom of the Truth!”

And thank God — the Church clearly taught that we are saved by the free gift of grace. That we can’t earn our salvation or become holy on our own, no matter how hard we try!

Another big conflict was over Gnosticism.

The Gnostics thought there was secret knowledge that only a few elite spiritual people had access to… And one of their beliefs was that the body was actually bad…that the body itself wasn’t very important at all. It was just something to sort of get rid of so that the spirit could finally be free… finally be itself!

And once again, the Church got into a conflict over this issue! 

People like St. Irenaeus, in his book “Against Heresies” said: “No, we don’t believe that about the body. We believe that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and took up a REAL human nature!”

Without these and so many other crucial debates up and down the centuries…If the Church had not been willing to enter into these conflicts, I wonder where we’d be today?

One time I was watching a Jordan Peterson video where he said: “I hate conflict, and I find it very stressful”

(I think we can all agree with him so far, right? I hate conflict, and I find it very stressful.)

“BUT” he says, “Conflict delayed, is conflict multiplied.”

Isn’t that interesting? 

If we delay the conflict… if we just try to keep the peace, not rock the boat, and pretend that everything will work itself out… if the Church had naively assumed that all those heresies would just eventually fizzle out and go away — then souls would have been lost! And all those conflict would have actually become much much worse!!!!

“Conflict delayed, is conflict multiplied.”

Like it or not: …Conflict is a necessary part of life. 

In our marriages, our friendships, our work environments…

We gotta be willing to RUMBLE or we’re just gonna CRUMBLE!!!!!!

Now of course, before saying anything else, we ALL know that there are very damaging ways to go about conflict. Bad conflict… sinful conflict… is when people hurl insults, assume bad intentions, dredge up past wounds to use as weapons, or resort to verbal or even physical violence…

But… when done well… when done with respect, humility and charity… Conflict is actually extremely healthy.

Now, I get it.

Hearing this probably makes a lot of us REALLY uncomfortable.

Because conflict is SCARY right?!?

The great temptation is to RUN from it… to KEEP the peace at all costs! We try smoothing things over on the surface. We want to avoid and ignore the deeper issues that might be going on. We want so badly to pretend that everything is actually fine… nothing is wrong!… Let’s just sort of agree to disagree and not actually get to the bottom of things… Just keep smiling… Maybe our problems will just eventually work themselves out and go away???

But is that the sort of Peace that Jesus actually wants to give us? 

I don’t think so. 

Jesus, we know, was never afraid of a little conflict. 

In fact, when we read the Gospels, we quickly find that our Lord was VERY confrontational at times! He constantly confronted the hypocrisy and sins of the proud and complacent. He boldly called people to repentance. He disrupted expectations and cleared up misunderstandings. He said kind of tough stuff like: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword! From now on a household of five will be divided, three against two and two against three!”

And yet… Jesus’s willingness to enter into conflict always came from a place of love. It was always in view of ultimate, true, lasting PEACE…

It all led up, finally… to the Cross.

And that’s where all real peace actually comes from:

As the Scriptures tell us, Christ “reconciled all things to himself, making peace through the blood of his cross”

This peace — was was only possible through the conflict of the Cross. 

So yea, I’m not sugar coating this: Jesus is NOT interested in just a superficial, false peace.

He is NOT merely interested in a ceasefire… the absence of violence…tolerance… a live-and-let-live mentality…

No…

He wants to give you…me, our families — and the entire world — true Peace.

Deep Peace. 

The Peace that only comes from being of one mind and one heart with Him, and with the Father.

And that peace… is worth hashing stuff out over. That peace is worth a little healthy dissension and debate!

Let’s go ahead and declare this together right now:

Conflict is healthy.

Conflict is normal.

Yeah, it’s never fun, never comfortable, but remember… conflict delayed is conflict multiplied!

The sooner an issue can be addressed… the better!

So, what does healthy conflict look like, anyways?

Well, a lot of it is just common sense, but we very rarely see it modeled for us, so here are some basic principles to keep in mind:

1. First and foremost: Open communication is key. People need to feel comfortable saying what they really actually think… This is the first and maybe most difficult step to take: to be brutally honest in an environment of respect and patience.

2. Second: We need to foster and encourage people to ACTUALLY listen to each other, NOT with the intention of RESPONDING… but to truly UNDERSTAND. This requires respect, humility, and empathy — the ability to try and feel what the other person is actually feeling…

In other words, we need to listen to LOVE… not to WIN… to try and preserve this relationship, not to DESTROY our competition!

3. Third: Try asking yourself: What do we actually have in common here? What are our common goals? This is an important shift. Because we need to try imagining ourselves on the same side together, looking at whatever the problem is…. together.

How are we going to work together AS the Body of Christ, AS a married couple…AS friends…AS coworkers… to see this issue as a threat to OUR relationship? As something we HAVE to work through…?

This is especially important in marriage. In marriage, healthy conflict is fighting the “problem” together — not fighting each other! And the only reason you can do that is because you know that God IS good, and that there IS a way forward through the storm!

There is obviously so much more that could be said on this subject, but I’ll finish with just a general encouragement:

Please don’t be afraid of healthy conflict!

The peace that Jesus offer us isn’t possible without it.

Trust the process. Don’t give in to the lie that true peace isn’t possible. Be comfortable engaging uncomfortable stuff. And know that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

He has made peace possible for us… through the Precious Blood of His Cross.

He Himself is our peace.

Amen.