In our gospel today, Jesus says: “Blessed are those servants whom the master finds vigilant on his arrival.”

This is a familiar theme in all four of the gospel accounts: “Be vigilant. Be watchful. Stay awake. Gird your loins! Don’t be caught off guard… the Son of Man will come like a thief in the night. Make sure you are ready when he finally arrives!”

And as I pondered this theme of vigilance and watchfulness, I was led to a topic that I think will be helpful to address because I suspect a lot of people struggle with this.

I am talking about the problem of scrupulosity.

The word “scrupulosity” comes from the Latin for a “tiny, sharp rock.” You can think of a little pebble that gets stuck in your shoe… At first it may seem small, but ultimately, it becomes a big, uncomfortable problem.

Scrupulosity is like that pebble. It is a spiritual sickness in which a person is hyper-concerned about what and how they are doing. They begin to notice everything they are (or at least think) they are doing wrong. It becomes all about “me, myself, and my sin.”

Unfortunately, the scrupulous person eventually comes to believe that just about everything they do is somehow sinful. They beat themselves up mercilessly. They mistake actions that are not sinful at all to be venial sins, and they begin fearing that their daily venial sins are in fact grace-killing, soul-destroying, heaven-forsaking mortal sins.

But here’s where I think this is all very relevant to our gospel this weekend:

Scrupulosity is seductive because it masquerades (at first, anyways) as watchfulness and vigilance — The person who is suffering from scrupulosity will probably believe that they are actually really very pious… that they are simply taking their faith super serious! 

They trick themselves into believing that the more rigorous, and anxious, and particular they become about each and every little tiny thing… the more they are simply obeying what Jesus told them to do — Be prepared! Be ready! “For at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.”

But guys….trust me: This is a trap! 

This is not the vigilance Jesus is inviting us all to! This is not the holiness God desires us to live in by the power of the Holy Spirit. This is NOT the good news of the Gospel!!!

It is instead a very paralyzing sort of self-concerned spiritual slavery.

Sadly, people who struggle with scrupulosity end up believing the lie that “God is always sort of unhappy with me” …that He doesn’t actually “enjoy” me… and that really… He’s just sort of annoyed by every little thing I do because I do it so imperfectly and so sinfully. 

I heard Matt Fradd once say on his podcast, “Pints with Aquinas,” that it’s almost like we view God like He’s the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld — We think we have to be so particular, and so perfect… or else… “No soup for you!”

If any of this is ringing a bell — if you think you might be struggling with scrupulosity, then what I am about to say is important:

Do not be afraid!

You are in very…VERY good company! 

St. Teresa of Avila, St. Alphonsus Liguori, St. Therese of Lisieux, and St. Ignatius of Loyola all wrestled with scrupulosity… And they were each set free by the tender patience and grace of the Lord. 

God can do the same for you.

So, we might then ask: What is the cure for scrupulosity?

1. Remember what sin actually is!

If we’re worried that everything we do is sinful, then perhaps it’s helpful to first review our catechism on what sin really is.

Sin can be defined as “missing the mark.” It is the choice to deliberately disobey God… to break relationship with Him… to prefer doing something that is against His teachings revealed to us through the Church. Sin is a self-inflicted wound.

There are two types of sins:

Venial and Mortal.

Venial sins deal with less grave stuff… these are lighter, less serious sins (like wasting some time on Facebook, stealing someone’s cheap pen, or lying about a relatively unimportant matter). While venial sins still wound us and risk setting us up for more serious sins, they don’t cut us off from the life of God’s grace.

We can be forgiven of venial sins when we receive Communion, when we bless ourselves with Holy Water, when we pray the Our Father, when we examen our souls before bedtime and make a good sincere ‘Act of Contrition’… Basically whenever we turn back to God and resolve to continue growing in virtue.

Mortal sin, on the other hand, deals with much more serious things… like flaring up in intense wrath, or harboring a deep grudge, hooking up with someone, getting drunk, viewing illicit material online, etc.

In order for a sin to be “mortal,” three conditions must be met:

        1. It’s a grave and serious matter.
        2. You know it’s wrong.
        3. You choose to do the evil act in full freedom of will anyways.

Committing a mortal sin actually does kill the life of grace in the soul and sacramental absolution from a priest is thus required to restore the soul to communion with Our Lord and His Church.

Now, you may then ask: How do I know for SURE whether a sin I’ve committed is venial or mortal? And the tough answer is: There may not be absolute certainty. Some situations are clearer than others. Others are ambiguous… That’s just the way it is.

My favorite solution to this predicament comes from the life of St. Joan of Arc, who when questioned by her persecutors about whether or not she was currently in a state of grace, replied:

“If I am in a state of grace, may God keep me there. If I am not, may He bring me there.”

Whether a sin is in fact venial OR mortal, one VERY important principle when it comes to battling scrupulosity is this:

There is no sin without consent of the will. You have to CHOOSE… make an act of your WILL… in order to sin.

This becomes important to remember when you happen to miss Sunday mass. Now, if you deliberately choose NOT to go to Mass, or if you deliberately prefer to do something other than Mass because it’s just sort of inconvenient to your plans… then that is a grave sin. A potentially mortal sin, in fact!!! You ought to go to confession!

But if there’s 3 feet of snow, and you’re afraid to slip and fall on the ice. Or if you are chronically ill and literally can’t get to church. Or if there is insane traffic that prevents you from making it to the last Sunday mass in the area. Or if you’re a teenager that can’t drive and your family wouldn’t bring you to mass…

Don’t be afraid! — Don’t be scrupulous!

God understands. He is actually VERY reasonable. He doesn’t want you to go around feeling all guilty. You didn’t choose to miss Mass! There was no consent of the will, and so… there was no sin.

It’s also worth repeating that temptations… are not sins!!!

Being tempted is normal!!!! It is supposed to happen!!!! As long as you don’t CONSENT to the temptation, there is no sin.

Scrupulous people often think that when they feel tempted, they must have somehow done something wrong. That maybe they didn’t pray enough, or not in the right way… and so it’s sort of their fault.

No!

Temptations are not sin! …They are opportunities!

Let’s just declare that amazing truth together.

Temptations are not sins. 

They are opportunities to love God!

AMEN!!!!

St Francis de Sales goes so far as to say that when “when the devil sees that his temptations move us to love God, he will cease to tempt us.” Wow!

2. Stop thinking about yourself!

When we suffer under a spirit of scrupulosity, what we’re really doing is we are thinking of ourselves. We are looking at ourselves. We’re keeping tabs on how well or how poorly we’re doing with that hypercritical, overly-rigorous point off view. 

So, one of the most crucial steps in being FREED from scrupulosity is to take yourself LESS SERIOUSLY. Forget yourself! Lose yourself!!!! Stop looking at yourself!!!!

The LESS we look at ourselves and how we’re doing, the holier we will actually become. Healthy self-awareness, self-knowledge, and humility is important, yes… but exasperated self-concern, and handwringing is not what God has in mind.

The only way we will ever finally be released from the deadly grip of scrupulosity is to turn our attention away from the mirror and look instead at God.

3. Surrender to Jesus.

Jesus said in our gospel today: “Where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” What are we treasuring most, I wonder? Do we treasure our own performance? Our own personal perfection? Our own holiness? Or… do we instead treasure the LORD, who is the source of all perfection and holiness?

In order to be freed once and for all from scrupulosity… we need to surrender totally to Jesus. Abandon yourself to Him! The self-concerned, worried person cannot surrender themselves because they think their life in their own hands! It’s NOT. You are in the hands of God…

Make it ALL about Him!  You have absolutely NOTHING to fear  — Your sins are NOT greater than His mercy!

In her diary, St. Faustina records Jesus as saying these incredible words: “My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.”

Isn’t that convicting? That our distrust of His mercy has somehow hurt Jesus more than all our sins ever have!

So, believe in Jesus’ mercy! 

Believe in His forgiveness and His love for you!

You can drop those boulders. You don’t need to drag them around anymore. Your guilt is WIPED COMPLETELY AWAY by the blood of Jesus, not by all your scrupulous worrying!!!! 

“Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom.” Those are Jesus’ incredibly comforting words I want to leave you with. Your Father is PLEASED to give you the Kingdom. 

Scrupulosity makes us afraid that God doesn’t really want to let us into Heaven. That it’s up to us to pry it from His hands against His will. 

No! — It’s His good pleasure to give us the Kingdom! So, we forget ourselves, and surrender to Him instead, trusting that our sins are no match for His goodness! And in the Name of Jesus, we reject and renounce every spirit of scrupulosity in our hearts right now. We ask for true freedom. We ask for breaking of chains. In order that we can all be truly vigilant and ready whenever Jesus returns. Amen.